What are friends for?
by Shitsuren69
Summary: What if instead of becoming the soft-spoken cowardly Mihashi that we all know and love, Mihashi decided to become a better baseball player in his middle school years? One-shot. AU-ish.


This isn't my usual style of writing, but I wanted to try something new in a new fandom. Please don't get too annoyed at me! Enjoy!

Note: I'll be using Japanese school time, where school year begins in the spring. Hope this doesn't confuse anyone!

Warning: There will be OOCness from different characters. AU

I don't own.

* * *

_They're glaring at me_. Mihashi fidgeted under the glare of his soon-to-be teammates. He slowly looked up and saw identical looks of shock mixed with disgust. He gulped. "U… uh…"

"Don't."

That single word came so sharply that Mihashi couldn't help but to flinch. Mihashi couldn't do anything but watch as the others of the baseball team turned and walked away. The words, "I'm sorry," became caught in his throat before he could even think on what he had done wrong. But by then, he was too late. All the members had all ready walked off.

Thus began Mihashi Ren's first year as starting pitcher on Mihoshi Baseball Team.

* * *

_They don't want me here_. That statement was so beyond obvious that Mihashi couldn't help but to smile. What was he thinking, really? That he'd be welcomed with open arms? He really should have seen this one coming. After all, he had just barged in through the doors and declared that he was the starting pitcher. Okay, maybe _he_ himself didn't declare it, but the deed was done.

_This doesn't bother me_, Mihashi told himself every time he walked past a glare. _They don't scare me_, he thought every time he heard someone jeer at him. But he knew he was just fooling himself. He was scared of what they might do to him. Worse, he was downright terrified. So he just curled into a small ball and looked away from their eyes.

No, that wasn't quite right, either. He wasn't terrified of them. They were just his teammates. Once baseball season ended, they would fade into the background of school noise. But there was one person who will never fade away. And Mihashi was terrified of the fact that he had just pissed off his childhood friend.

"Uh… Shu-"

"Shut up," Kanou said softly. And without even a glance towards Mihashi, Kanou walked away.

For the first time in his life, Mihashi learned the bitterness of betrayal.

* * *

It had been two weeks since school started and Mihashi was slowly getting used to the rough treatment. Humans, after all, were creatures of habit. They easily became accustomed to their surroundings. But just when Mihashi thought he could take the bullying, the bullying intensified. Of course, to call it bullying would be mislabeling it. They were doing something far worse.

They were ignoring him.

Suddenly, it was as if he didn't exist. No matter how loudly he shouted (which wasn't very often, by the way), or how terribly he threw, no one commented. There was no more jeers, no more cold glares. He just didn't exist in their minds. And slowly, Mihashi wondered if he really didn't exist.

But Mihashi _wanted_ to exist.

Mihashi wanted to be noticed. He wanted others to turn towards him and say, "Nice pitching!" as if they were elementary kids playing out in the playground again. He wanted everyone to laugh and smile and hold out their hands for him again. More than anything in the world, he wanted Kanou to grin at him and say, "Stupid! I was just kidding!" That way, they could be friends again. That way…

They were completely crushed in their first game.

The bitter taste wouldn't leave his mouth, no matter how many gallons of water he drank. Sure, it was just a practice game. Sure it wasn't an official match. But the game had proved to everyone that Mihashi was useless. Mihashi couldn't pitch.

Self-loathe consumed him. How could he? How dare he steal the starting pitcher's position and lose? How dare he pretend to be the ace? He was frightened that they would hurt him. Yell at him and destroy what was left of his pride. But they didn't. They went on as always.

As if he didn't exist.

It was then that Mihashi realized. He couldn't continue like this. If he allowed them to force him to play baseball alone, he might end up hating the very sport. And he couldn't allow that. Baseball was _his_ sport. So what if he wasn't good at it? So what if he had to use nepotism to earn the spot? He can just work on his pitches. He can get better. He can prove to everyone that he deserved this spot. And if no one else wanted to work with him, fine. He'll just get better on his own.

And he did.

* * *

His parents and grandpa was proud. Their beloved Ren was working hard. Of course, if they had realized just why he was working so hard, they might not have been so proud. They would have gone straight to the coach and demand punishment. But Ren was a quiet kid, never demanding anything. Not even apologizes.

As soon as practice ended, Mihashi went straight to the library. He began with the letter 'a' first. That's always a good letter to start, after all. He borrowed the first three baseball books that had the letter 'a' in the authors' last name. Then he stopped by the sports shop. He had enough baseballs at home, so he didn't need to worry about that. His father had made him a target when he was younger, so that wasn't a problem either. The problem, however, was the fact that he didn't know enough about the players. He grabbed the newest issues of three baseball magazines.

Armed with these books, Mihashi came home with a bright smile. Without bothering with anything else, he ran quickly to his room and began to devour the books.

Now, it should be mentioned that Mihashi was not a studious kid. Looking at a piece of paper made his eyelids droop. And memorizing them? Don't even get me started! So for Mihashi, who had never seriously studied before, looking through these books hurt his head. But every time he wanted to take a break, or even just put the book down for a bit, he would remember the bitterness. The bitterness of Kanou's back, the bitterness of defeat, the bitterness of realization that he's not good enough. And suddenly, he wouldn't feel so tired, or even bored anymore.

He finished all six reading materials that night.

Better yet, he began to understand all six reading materials. Suddenly, the boring exercise the coach made them do every practice didn't seem so boring anymore. Suddenly, he understood each position's roles a little bit better. He began stretching before sleep. He began to watch his diet. Then slowly, oh so slowly, he moved on to pitching.

Within a week, Mihashi had a better grasp of baseball than all of his teammates combined.

* * *

In the next game Mihashi played, he found himself enjoying baseball again. He wasn't at the point to crush all batters yet, but he felt better about himself. No one cheered for him, but no one booed him either. There was just calm rush of excitement as Mihashi wound himself up for the next pitch. So what if the catcher wouldn't give him any signs? Mihashi had brains. He had been studying.

After the first night of studying, he went back to the library every day afterward, getting the next three books. And every time there was a new issues of a baseball magazine out, Mihashi was one of the first to buy it. He read the books and studied the game he loved. He compared his stances with the ones in the books. He tried to understand the techniques behind each pitch. And then he went outside to practice.

Every night, he made a goal for himself. He had to hit each of the nine squares twenty times with each one of his pitches. Sliders, shoots, curves, and fast balls were just a few that he worked on. He did try the fork now and again, but found that he couldn't pitch it without a pang of betrayal. Kanou had been too great a part of his life. And now he found that he couldn't cut his childhood friend off, unlike Kanou, who seemed to be enjoying his time with the baseball team.

But knowledge alone could not win the game. Despite all his hard practices and studies, Mihoshi team lost. Mihashi still allowed the other team to score. With the taste of bitter defeat in his mouth again, Mihashi swore to improve. He would not allow this team to lose again.

Before their first official match, Mihashi dug up all the information on the other players that he could find. Then he sat down and memorized as much as he could. When the match began, he was able to strike out most people. And his teammates slowly wondered if they had been mistaken. However, the minute Mihashi stood at-bat, all their doubts flew out the window. Mihashi couldn't bat at all.

In baseball, every player must be near perfect. If one could not bat, they brought down the whole team.

With that in mind, Mihashi began batting practice on top of his regular pitching practice.

* * *

"Mihashi…" the voice surprised him. After all, he never thought that anyone would talk to him every again. But for someone to actually call his name-!

"Won't you please forgive me?"

The words didn't register at first. Mihashi could only stare as his childhood friend apologized to him on his hands and knees. Before Mihashi could make a noise, however, his friend continued.

"I was stupid! I know that you're good, Mihashi. I just got so jealous when you were given the starting position. But I know that you're good. I know it and I've been mistreating you just because I'm not good enough. I understand if you can't forgive me. But I… I'm sick and tired of isolating you just because I can't catch up!"

Mihashi tried to speak, but he hadn't spoken in ages and his throat felt really dry. He cleared his throat a little bit and tried to get his friend's attention, but Kanou was in his own world.

"I get it! You don't have to forgive me. But know that I am sorry for everything that I've done and not done. I swear I'll stand by your side from now on! So-"

"Shu-chan," Mihashi finally broke in when his voice returned. He placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I-it's… okay. You're my… f-f-friend."

There was a small pause as the words sank in. Kanou's shoulders began to shake lightly, and Mihashi wondered if he had done something wrong. He was about to voice his concern when his best friend finally spoke up.

"R-real aces don't… s-stutter!"

Normal people would have thought that Kanou was making fun of Mihashi's stutter. But that wasn't it at all. After all, it was really hard not to stutter when you had tears choking your throat.

* * *

When the baseball team gathered to have a meeting, it went usually like this:

"… And that's what I think. You, Kanou?"

"Well… that's interesting. But I'm against the idea. What do you think, Hatake?"

And on and on around, until every player had a say in the meeting. Everyone, except, of course, Mihashi. Mihashi never had a say in the meetings. He wasn't so worried about that. He didn't mind just listening in. Even if they pretended as if he didn't exist, he could still listen to their opinions.

But that day, the baseball meeting went something like this:

"I really dislike this plan. What do you think, Hatake?"

"I don't dislike it per say. It might work, but it just sound like a pain. You, Kanou?"

"It will work. Because we have an ace pitcher. Right, Ren?"

The whole team looked around in confusion. Ren? Did they have a Ren on their team?

The said pitcher flinched at the sound of his name, earning everyone's attention. He looked up and saw everyone's eyes on him. _Did they really want my opinion_? Judging from the scowls he received, he thought that they didn't want anything from him. But_ Kanou _had talked to him. _Kanou _had asked for his opinion. And he wasn't going to let down his friend again!

"I…"

The whole team leaned forward to hear the soft voice. Was the pitcher always so quiet? Now that they thought of it, did the pitcher ever speak at all?

"If Shu-chan thinks so… then I-I'll make it w-work."

Despite the whole team's disapproving glances, Mihashi couldn't help but to smile. Because, now they had no choice but to acknowledge him. And Kanou gave him a grin, just like he used to when they were kids.

* * *

Mihashi kept the other team's scores down to a minimum. Those he couldn't strike out waited forever on base for no one else could hit Mihashi's balls. And almost like a dream, Mihashi was able to get hits at-bat from time to time.

Suddenly, he found himself noticed. The coach praised him often, as did Kanou. Kanou would happily wrap his arms around Mihashi and tell him, "Nice pitching!" Slowly, his teammates began to follow Kanou's example. They looked towards his direction and talked to him. They raised their hands in greetings. They complimented him when he had a good day. And when he had a bad day, they said, "Tough luck, man."

Mihashi suddenly existed.

* * *

"Hey Mihashi…"

Mihashi gulped at the sound of the voice. There was no doubt about it. It was Hatake, the only one who haven't quite acknowledged Mihashi. Mihashi turned around slowly, trying to figure out what Hatake could possibly want from him. Did he do something that could possibly piss off the bigger boy? Perhaps he hurt the soon-to-be catcher when he pitched earlier during practice?

"I will never accept you."

_Ah. That's what he wanted to say_. Of course, it was still unsettling, but it was better than Hatake yelling at him again. With that thought in mind, Mihashi nodded in affirmation. "E-even if-"

Before he could finish, Hatake cut him off.

"But! I will acknowledge your pitching arm!"

Mihashi blinked. _Did he just say…?_

Hatake was currently looking away, but his ears were red. Mihashi blinked again. Then he couldn't help but to laugh nervously as his face turned beet red. The catcher turned around, fire in his eyes.

"Don't laugh at me!" he snapped. Then paused when he realized that the pitcher wasn't laughing at him.

Mihashi flinched anyways. "S-sorry!"

"Hey! Don't bully Ren!" With that introduction, the best friend wrapped his arms around Mihashi's shoulders.

Mihashi, his face still red, protested against his friend. "W-wait, Shu-chan! He wasn't… b-bullying me!"

And thus Mihashi was able to receive the catcher's praise.

* * *

Mihashi was in his happy place. It was his second year as the starting pitcher and the baseball team was going strong. They had lost in the third match of the junior high tournament, but Mihashi had fun. In fact, he no longer played baseball alone. Whenever he failed to strike a batter out, his teammates behind him supported him and got them out. He was no longer alone. He existed.

Of course, his image was also very important to the team. Due to his shy nature and his tendency to stutter, the team had begged for him to stay silent. That way, everyone would mistake Mihashi's shyness for stoic calmness. As Kanou had stated earlier, "Real aces don't stutter."

Yes, all was going well.

Mihashi practiced batting with Kanou after practice. And during practice, he pitched with Hatake. The other members of the baseball team always complimented him. "You're amazing, Mihashi!" and "Hey, are you secretly a genius?" were few of the compliments that always followed him.

Everything was going well. Mihashi truly felt happy after joining the baseball team. He felt accomplished. He had convinced everyone on the baseball team that he was worth it! He had went and proved his worth in the tournaments! There was nothing that could go wrong! Nothing except…

It happened one day after practice. Kanou was going to walk Mihashi home that day. This usually meant that the two would sneak off to a park and practice some pitches before heading home. So the two speedily changed out of their uniforms and left the locker room. But as they were leaving the school grounds, Mihashi realized that he had left a baseball magazine back in the locker room. With an apologetic smile, he went off to retrieve it.

Mihashi, due to his shy nature, didn't slam the door open as Kanou would. Instead, he softly pushed at the door. But paused when he heard the voices.

"Jeesh, I don't get why we have to be so kind to him! So what if he can get a few strike outs? Kanou is so much better!" one of the member complained. "I mean, Mihashi can't even throw a fork ball!"

"Yeah, I know what you mean. It's disgusting how Kanou's all wrapped around his fingers. I bet he doesn't even realize that he's killing Kanou's talents!"

"Maybe we should break his arm or something," Hatake suggested. "At least that'll stop him from pitching anymore."

Mihashi slowly closed the door. He lowered his head until it touched the locker room door. _I'm an idiot, _he realized. _I should have known. _But their words bothered him. Mihashi was killing Kanou's talents?

* * *

"Uh… S-Shu-chan?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Nonetheless, Kanou looked at him with a big grin on his face. "What up, Ren?"

_How to approach…?_ Mihashi rarely talked in class or during the practice (to keep his image), and was now finding it hard to ask Kanou the question that had been bugging him. Should he mention that people were talking about it? No, that would get them in trouble. Should he begin with something casual? But wouldn't it be hard to lead up to that conversation then? Then what should Mihashi begin with…?

"Hm? Aren't you going to say something?"

_Oh no. Shu-chan's getting annoyed! I have to tell him-_

"I… I'm going to be the starting pitcher next year, too!" His suddenly clarity in his voice surprised both young boys.

Or perhaps Kanou was surprised by what Mihashi had just said, not his voice. Because as soon as those words left Mihashi's mouth, Kanou's face twisted with an emotion Mihashi had never seen on his friend's face. But as quickly as it was there, it was gone. And Kanou took a deep breath with his eyes close. Then he opened them again and no trace of that emotion remained.

"Of course!" Kanou exclaimed, rubbing his friend's hair. "I won't play for any other pitcher!"

Why was it that Kanou's behavior seemed so forced? Mihashi closed his eyes for a bit. _You're a liar, Shu-chan_. _I know jealousy when I see it. You'd rather be the pitcher yourself._

And the bitterness returned.

* * *

He couldn't do much about Kanou. Kanou would always be Kanou. And despite being in pain, Kanou would force himself to smile. Because he was scared of abandoning Mihashi again. And that scared Mihashi.

_Why would you willingly be in pain? _

As long as Mihashi stayed on the team, Kanou would never be the starting pitcher. But the thought of giving up the mound gave Mihashi cold sweat. Give up the mound? Then what had he been working for? Why did he work so hard the past year? Why did he work so hard this year? Why did he work at all? He had the starting position, he didn't have to work. He knew that. Because no one else would dare challenge his grandfather. Then why did he work?

Wasn't it to make Kanou proud? To make everyone around him look at him and think, "Maybe it was a good thing that Mihashi was made the starting pitcher." But despite working this hard, they still looked at him and thought, "Why's that guy that starting pitcher? Kanou is so much better!"

Mihashi's heart ached. _They won't accept me. It doesn't_ _matter what I do or not. They will never accept me._ And suddenly, everything seemed funny. For one whole year, Kanou had convinced everyone to be nice to him. But didn't Kanou do that for his own good? So that he wouldn't be burdened with the feelings of guilt? So now he'll be able to look back at his middle school years and think, "I helped my good friend Ren." And he won't have to think, "I should have helped but I didn't…"

_I wanted to believe you…_

Suddenly, Hatake's harsh words came to Mihashi's mind_. "Maybe we should break his arm or something."_ Mihashi threw his self-pity out from his mind. Nothing will be accomplished by moaning. All he could do now was prepare.

_They want to break my arm? Fine! I'll show them something to be awed about!_

Mihashi didn't go home with Kanou after that day. But his practice menu increased.

Because Hatake was right. Once his arm was gone, Mihashi wouldn't be able to pitch. But that was okay. After all, humans were born with two arms.

* * *

In Mihashi's third year of junior high, Mihoshi baseball team won the championship. If anyone picked up a magazine about the matches, it would say one thing, "Mihoshi's Ace kept other teams at score of zero. Without that, Mihoshi wouldn't have gotten far." Then it would go into the background story on the said Ace.

Despite this victory, Mihoshi baseball team was rather solemn. Just as they had wanted since three years ago, Mihashi had played baseball by himself. And as much as it hurt to admit it, Mihashi just needed them there to score. They had no other function then that. And even that function was reduced for Mihashi could bat just as well as any of them.

Many scouts came after Mihashi, but he refused every one of them, much to Kanou's surprise.

"What are you doing? They _want_ you!" Kanou exclaimed once he found out about this.

Mihashi looked at Kanou calmly. Then, with his usual broken speech, he said softly, "But… I d-don't want… them."

"You're wasting your talent! You can go anywhere you want! _Anywhere!_ Do you know what I'll give to have that chance?"

_But aren't you just trying to get rid of me?_

Mihashi smiled softly at his good friend. Or were they still friends? "Don't… w-worry. I'm no l-longer… pitching f-for… Mihoshi."

Kanou's eyes flashed with something akin to relief. Then it was gone and replaced with… fear? "What's that supposed to mean? You're… you're not giving up baseball, are you?"

Give up baseball? The thought had never occurred to him! Give up Mihoshi, yes. Give up his so-called friends, yes. Give up the baseball team who refused to play with him, yes. But give up baseball?

Never.

Mihashi felt like crying. His so-called best friend knew so little about him! If Kanou had known about the time and dedication Mihashi put behind baseball… If Kanou had known Mihashi as a friend, instead of a guilt-reliever… then perhaps Kanou would have been able to understand Mihashi. And would have stood by him as a friend. Because, really, that was all Mihashi wanted. Just a friend…

As Mihashi's eyes watered, Kanou's eyes hardened with determination. "You can't! You can't ever give up baseball! I don't know where you're going for high school, but you have to join the baseball team there! You have to continue pitching!"

Mihashi slowly turned away from his shouting friend and walked away. _So I am really alone._

_I hoped you, of all people, would understand…

* * *

_

Mihashi made his way to the small baseball field. Or what resembled it. There really was just a grassy outfield with the diamond barely chalked in. Other sport equipments could be seen from different sides. Mihashi blinked. _This is where I'm going to play…?_ Disappointment swelled in his heart. _Maybe I should have accepted the invitation to Tosei…_ Then his eyes landed on the mound.

He didn't know then who had created the mound, or from what they had created it. But suddenly, Mihashi didn't feel so bad anymore. _They have a mound._ As long as there was a mound, he could play baseball. Because he was a pitcher. And that's what pitchers did. So what if the field was half completed? They will create the field together. As a team.

"Hey, do you play baseball?"

Mihashi turned around at the sound of a female voice. He saw someone with a very nice figure looking down at him. There was a baseball cap on her head and she was wearing jogging clothes. He didn't know then, but he had just met the team coach. She was looking at him with great anticipation, he realized. _I hope I don't disappoint…_ but then he stopped his train of thought. It wasn't going to help him to be depressing. She had asked him a question, he should answer it. _Do I play baseball…?_

Mihashi couldn't help but to smile brightly.

"Yes!"

* * *

It was the day of practice match between Nishiura baseball team and Mihoshi baseball team. And the ace of Nishiura was missing. Abe sighed when the coach told him to go find him. _Jeesh! What am I? His mother?_

He heard the crack first. Worried, Abe sprinted towards that sound. And behind the storage shed, he found a rather loud guy with catching equipment on looming over a small figure. _Mihashi…?_ The smaller figure was curled into a small ball, and seemed to be cradling something.

"What's going on here?" Abe demanded.

The catcher turned around, his face pale as a sheet of paper. "I'm so sorry!" he exclaimed. "I didn't mean to! It was a complete accident! Please forgive me!"

Abe's eyes narrowed. _Why's he so pale? And why isn't Mihashi moving…?_ "Mihashi?"

The smaller figure slowly looked up, his eyes red from tears. But fresh tears did not roll down his face. Abe could see the boy struggle to piece words together. That was one thing Abe couldn't take about the pitcher. Mihashi couldn't form sentences very well. But Abe patiently waited for Mihashi to explain the situation.

"My… a-arm…"

Those two words were more than enough. Abe turned to the blubbering catcher. "You broke his arm?"

"Please forgive me! I didn't mean to! It was a complete accident!"

"Abe-kun!"

At the sudden loud sound, Abe turned back to Mihashi.

"I… I'm not t-too… good at it… b-but… I can p-pitch… with my other a-arm."

"What did you say?" Abe asked, dumbfounded. _A pitcher who can pitch with both arms? I've never heard of something like that!_

"It… doesn't have p-power… or speed… but… I c-can… pitch with it."

"But… doesn't it hurt?"

Mihashi looked at Abe shyly. "If Abe-san… will c-catch… I will p-pitch."

And how could Abe say no to a request like that?

* * *

Mihoshi was shut down by Nishiura. Of course, to call this game an obvious one would be a lie. It was a very close game, much to Abe's annoyance. But it couldn't be helped. After all, the pitcher had pitched the whole game with his other arm. But a victory was a victory. And the fact that Mihashi pitched with his other arm served as an ego crusher for Mihoshi.

"Mihashi… won't you please give us another chance?"

Those words surprised the Nishiura players. After breaking Mihashi's arm, what right did they have to say such a thing? Angered, Abe glared at the other players. But when the silence lengthened, Abe switched his glare to Mihashi. _What's taking him so long? Just say no all ready!_

"Hatake-san… Shu-chan… and everyone… W-were we really… playing b-baseball… in our middle s-school years?"

The question cut through the silence like a knife. The others who had played with Mihashi were unable to answer. After all, how could they say anything? Only Kanou had enough courage to speak up.

"But wouldn't you be lonely?"

Kanou did not miss Mihashi's glance at Abe. And he didn't miss Mihashi's soft smile. "No, I won't."

_He has a team now… a team that accepts him._ This realization shook Kanou's heart. Shook it then ripped it with a paper shredder. _I wasn't enough. I wasn't good enough to convince him to stay. Not as a baseball player. And not as a friend…_

_But…_ Kanou stared as Mihashi walked side by side with Abe, who seemed to be fussing over the blond boy. _He looks happier now. As for me…_

He turned to his teammates. They were looking at him with expectations. A thrill of excitement and fear coursed through his veins. _Is this what Ren felt when he stood as our Ace?_ Whatever this feeling was, Kanou was addicted to it. To be truthful, even if Mihashi did accept to come back to Mihoshi, Kanou didn't think he could give up his new found ace position.

"Let's train hard for our next game!"

_After all, we can't tarnish the good Mihoshi name that Ren created for us!_


End file.
